September 14, 2010 § 4 Comments
In two weeks, I’m heading back to California. Unlike my previous visits, this one could be semi-permanent. I can’t even begin to explain or understand how much I have changed and grown in the past year and a half. Moving to another country to work was never part of my life plan, and something I decided almost on a whim. Of course it’s been life changing, enlightening, and immeasurably valuable.
I flew away from the nest. I was forced to deal with being alone, and starting from scratch. I had to be an adult, take care of myself, and learn to integrate into a new society on my own. I guess I was lucky my first venture abroad was to Wellington. That place is a real oddity. Weta Digital comprises a good percentage of Welly’s inhabitants, so making friends was almost like summer camp. We were all from somewhere else, looking for a surrogate family ’til we could go home to our own. By week two I had already amassed this large group of friends, which of course eventually got whittled down to a smaller, more intimate group. I think had I come to Sydney or London first, I would have been crawling back home with my tail between my legs. Even being in Sydney after living a year abroad has been much tougher in a lot of ways than Wellington was. Sure Sydney has had better weather, shopping, and things to do, but it’s been tough on the whole “making friends” front. It’s a huge metropolitan city. I arrived with only 4 months to go on the project and we were in overtime from the very start, so making friends at work was a bit of a struggle. As soon as I finally had, everyone was released from the project and either moved away or went on vacation. My roommates left a month early, so I’ve been spending the last couple weeks mostly wandering the city on my own, and cooking of course
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy my solitude. Since I was a kid, I’ve been able to be alone and entertain myself just fine. As I was walking around by myself on a particularly sunny day a couple weeks ago, I remember thinking, “one day, I’m gonna fantasize about the time when I could walk out of my house without telling anyone, and go wander around by myself.” So much freedom is a luxury I know I won’t always have. (For good reasons I hope).
I guess on top of all this, so much change and instability is beginning to take its toll on me. I’m just tired of starting over and moving, and lacking a core group of people around me. So, with this move to San Francisco, I am proposing to myself that I try to settle down a bit. I’m going to get my own place, purchase a few home items, maybe even actually decorate, and start to build a real life that I won’t be packing up and moving in six months.
Traveling has been amazing. I’ve made friends that I will have for the rest of my life, and experiences that have changed and defined who I am.
But for now, I’m ready to sit still… And cook.
Enjoy a bit of my year and a half in review…